Signs of past sexual trauma how to#
Signs of past sexual trauma free#

Read more about sex therapy, therapy for women, and couples counseling. With that work complete, you can share yourself when you are ready and fulfill your desires freely. Seek to know and own your sexual self without anxiety or apology.

Signs of past sexual trauma how to#

If we don’t know how to let it go, it remains an unprocessed obstacle to a deep and intimate knowledge of ourselves.

Often we punish ourselves with shame, isolation, or pain. When we survive something terrible, we carry it with us.

The intensity of sexual contact can trigger the same response.

You may enter in a foggy, cold or distant, sort of lethargy. Your nervous system protects you by signaling that you are in inescapable danger. Disconnect or Dissociation Routinely Robs You of Pleasureĭo you feel as though you just “can’t feel anything” during sex? Perhaps certain parts of your body feel numb? Maybe you are completely checked out and feel as if you are somewhere else altogether?ĭissociation is a common response to traumatic experiences. If trauma has taught you these things, sex can be disappointing, triggering, or an unsatisfyingly one-sided affair.Ħ. Second, sharing your needs and wants is difficult enough without the perception that people are inherently unsafe or that sex leads to betrayal or personal harm in some way. First, simply being vulnerable is unlikely to occur without a measure of faith that the other person will not harm you physically, mentally, or emotionally. A lack of trust with a sexual partner is problematic in a variety of ways. If you’re feeling empty, your relationships are being harmed, and your sex life is taking a toll on your baby, think about getting to the root of things.ĥ. However, as you deal with certain consequences, you may wonder if your painful past is directing your current sexual exploits.

Signs of past sexual trauma free#

You may have thought you were simply free and uninhibited. Perhaps you don’t even know why you use sexual activity in risky or unhelpful ways. In some circles, you may hear about how some trauma survivors “act out.” Perhaps you can relate. You may have trouble not thinking about sex or constantly contemplate when your next sexual encounter will take place. Is sex a complete preoccupation? A history of physical or sexual trauma can contribute to a focus on various aspects of sex that interfere with your goals, career, and relationships. Or you may feel that sex can only happen if those sensations are at play, even if they are harmful to you or your connections with others. Past injury or partial memories may give rise to certain tensions, numbness, or functional issues. Disturbing Sensations and Dysfunction Get in the WayĪgain, trauma stays with you, lives in your memories, mind, and body. Thus, you can be disturbed and affected by the bodily responses long before you are consciously aware of trauma connections. Or perhaps you just get through it emotionally, and mentally in response to intimacy (flight).ģ. You may find that withdrawal, avoidance or passive interaction (flight) typifies your sexual interaction. Your trauma might be impacting your sex life negatively if sex feels demanding, aggressive, or triggers anger and controlling behavior (fight). Your guard is up, anxiety and arousal get confused easily. When trauma is stuck within you your body never really resolves the fight-flight-freeze mode that accompanies a disturbing experience. Anxiety and Excitement Are all Mixed Up in Your Brain Trauma may be driving your sexual connections or lack thereof.ĭo you think that there is inherently something wrong with you?ĭoes losing control sexually feel like powerlessness in your relationship?ĭo you feel that you have the right to say no to anyone that wants you?ĭo you feel that you deserve whatever you get when it comes to sex?Ģ. You See Yourself as Damaged, Diminished, or TargetedĬonsider your answers to the following questions.

Some of the things we do (or won’t do) sexually may be linked to a painful past experience that shows up in unexpected ways.Ĭonsider the following indicators that unresolved trauma could be upsetting a healthy sexual connection.ġ. Particularly if they continue to get in your way. Consider that what you may see, or even dismiss, as a sexual preference, fantasy, or irritant may be more. Yet, it often takes support and a qualified therapist to helps us look deeper. When it comes to our sex lives, there really is no reason to think we wouldn’t be affected by trauma. It lives inside us and our relationships, keeping us mired in the tension, drama, and aftershock of it all.